Life, it’s a funny old thing really, less of a ‘dash’ and more a cardiogram of ups and downs.
When you’ve been locked down for a month, with yourself and only yourself it’s not a pretty picture of mental stability. I’ve managed to keep it together with wine, friends via social media and Netflix, but even now, I’m getting over Netflix bingeing.
Pretty sure that I wasn’t the only one thinking this lock down would last longer than two weeks and sure enough, two became four, four became six and it’s now looking to become eight.
Leading into this I’d tried then given up on returning to either Australia or New Zealand, so I prepared myself for the long haul. That preparation consisted of madly downloading as much Netflix viewing as I could, buying a bit of extra food, stocking up on wine even though I’d previously avoided having wine on hand given my propensity of, if it’s there, it must be drunk.
I did have every good intention of using my time wisely, writing, studying-up on my Spanish and mixing it up with a few YouTube exercise sessions. Yeah, nah! Procrastination prevailed. Stick with what you’re good at right?
Hours of watching Netflix and constantly turning from side to side, I’ve started to feel like a rotisserie chicken. This, as I mentioned in my previous post is after having spent the previous months walking about 45 minutes most days and swimming three times a week.
I spent the other day lying in bed binge watching ‘El final del Paraiso’, a hilarious Colombian soap that’s story-line has more holes than a Swiss cheese and all the dramatic sultry, sad, longing gazes you’d expect. So, today I was going to achieve great things, put some structure in my day. Get up, exercise, shower, get dressed and do something constructive. I’m exhausted just having brekky and need to go lie down for a bit.
You’d be right in thinking I’m going to come out of this an over-weight alcoholic, but I’d already conquered that going into it!
To be honest, I’m actually surprised how well I am coping. Sure, I’ve had the odd meltdown with the stress and rigmarole of trying to get flights out, but that was more to do with the fact that my marriage of 24 years is barely hanging by a thread and there’s not much you can do about that on the other side of the world. Adding alcohol to hurt and mistrust certainly doesn’t help!
The weird thing is, I’m probably happier in isolation than I was prior to lock down. I might have been out and about, but I was still pretty much on my own a lot of the time anyway. I can tell you that it’s much lonelier to be sitting in a cafe drinking on your own, making yourself crazy with all the crap that has transpired then being in a forced lock down with everyone messaging and calling.
I have everything I need, and it won’t be forever. As previously mentioned, on sunny days I’ve been climbing out the back window onto the car park roof to get a bit of fresh air and outdoor time.
The highlight of my social life now is at 8pm when everyone leans out their windows, clapping and cheering in support of the amazing front-line staff working hard in the hospitals, food-chains, and essential services. Some of the supporters join in with tambourines and I’m a bit sad I don’t have mine.
Occasionally you get horns blasting from the Port and buses going past always toot as they drive up the street. Anytime an ambulance or police car drives by the cheering and noise crescendos. It gives me goose-bumps and brings a tear to my eye.
There is a sort of solidarity and togetherness in that one simple act.